1. breadmaakesyoufat:

    i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

    "oh no my potato"

    (via greglestrade)

     
  2. satan-is-not-natural:

    mrrgh:

    kawaii-i:

    by Morticia’s Shop

    if anyone puts that goddamn meme on this post i’m reporting them. you know the one.

    image

    (via moriarty-the-timetraveling-lemur)

     

  3. airudite:

    reblog this | i’ll promote you in solos | dont need to be following me

    (via lunalovelock)

     

  4. khaleesikun:

    man you can tell everyone who posts those zodiac posts have someone they hate b/c it’ll be like

    aries: strong :)

    taurus: great :)

    gemini: fake bitch

    cancer: emotional :)

    leo: determined :)

    virgo: sneaky asshole

    libra: smart :)

    scorpio: vengeful shitlord

    sagittarius: alright :)

    capricorn: hardworker :)

    aquarius: wackiest fakest bitch

    pisces: good :)

    (Source: korrakun, via caseyanthonyofficial)

     
  5. gamegeneral:

    krystal-cage:

    please just watch this

    "It’s one second." I said
    "It can’t possibly be that great."
    I was wrong.

    (via zaynsbro)

     
     
  6. thebloggerbloggerfun:

    teafortrouble:

    eteo:

    fall-for-nothing:

    trickster-eridan:

    buttpilgrim:

    scientificperfection:

    kittiesinthemorning:

    I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

    WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

    when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

    it’s back

    Satan lemon

    every villain is lemons

    And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

    And now: The Weather.

    (Source: sometimesoverwhelming, via guy)

     
  7. whyisyourdoginmybed:

    maxeth:

    what the fuck is going on

    You’re right!

    (Source: oldspice, via bbishopblud)

     
  8. ryugazaking:

    HEY ITS A GIVEAWAY

    i got to a nice even number of followers a little while ago so this is a thank you!

    the winner will get:

    • a flower crown made by me - you get to pick the colors dont pretend you havent always wanted one
    • one item from the ‘trinkets’ section on whatpumpkin - you can get pins or a necklace or a keychain the possibilities are endless
    • one wig under $40 from go_blue333 - seriously check out their wigs even if you dont win i mean free shipping and a free wig cap what more could you want
    • A PIZZA - i will order you a pizza from anywhere that will let me do it online

    rules because we are civilized bloggers:

    • reblog as much as you want but tumblr only counts it once in the notes so keep that in mind
    • likes count ONLY if you also reblog
    • you dont have to be following me to win BUT
    • following me DOUBLES your entries (aka reblog+follow= 2 entries, reblog+like+follow= 4 entries)
    • do people even have giveaway blogs any more? dont do that
    • winner picked with random number generator
    • ill ship anywhere that whatpumpkin/ebay/pizza will
    • you have to be willing to give me your address otherwise how are you gonna get the sweet loot
    • have your askbox open
    • if the winner doesnt respond in 48 hours i will pick a new one
    • dont delete these rules from the post
    • if you have questions send me an ask
    • ends november 22nd

    have fun!!

     

  9. angry90slesbian:

    I’m in the living room and I could hear my mom on the phone down in the basement trying to fix something in the vent. So naturally I went over to the vent and went "OOOoooOOOHHHhhhh DeBORaHH!!!!! ThhIIISSSsss Issss YouRR CONSCIENCEEEEE!!!! ConFEsSS TO thAT MURDER YooouUU CooMMiTtEEDDdd in 1983!!!!"

    and all I heard back was

    I’m gonna have to call you back. My kids being a fucking idiot again.”

    (via bulletpr00fyears)

     

  10. porpentine:

    one of my favorite things is how people talk to themselves in tumblr tags, taking this space designed for metadata classification and using it as a form of parenthetical speech. those grey little tags feel so cozy, a whispered dimension to the flat communication of the net

    (via dontbeanassbutt)